Let me be honest: this is the third version of this article I’ve tried to write. And this one’s the keeper. I’ve come at it from a few angles already. I thought about turning it into the ultimate piece of Keith Jackass sarcasm. I thought about spoofing it as a news report — Dermot Desmond
Read Next: Returning to the past could allow Celtic to build for the future
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| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Celtic | 5 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 8 | 1 | 7 | 13 |
| 2 | Hearts | 5 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 12 | 6 | 6 | 13 |
| 3 | Dundee United | 5 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 11 | 8 | 3 | 8 |
| 4 | Hibernian | 5 | 1 | 4 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 1 | 7 |
| 5 | St Mirren | 5 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 0 | 6 |
| 6 | Dundee | 6 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 6 | 8 | -2 | 6 |
| 7 | Motherwell | 5 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 5 |
| 8 | Falkirk | 5 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 7 | 9 | -2 | 5 |
| 9 | Livingston | 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 8 | 11 | -3 | 5 |
| 10 | Kilmarnock | 5 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 7 | 8 | -1 | 4 |
| 11 | Rangers | 5 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 3 | 5 | -2 | 4 |
| 12 | Aberdeen | 5 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 0 | 7 | -7 | 1 |
