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The Clumpany · Jan 8, 2017
Dramatic Scenes As Sevco Transfer Target Jets In!
Good Evening. Here is the latest entirely fictitious Sevco transfer update, from the hypothetical Sunday Piss-Take newspaper...
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Last Match
 | 0 - 1 |  |
Falkirk The Falkirk Stadium Europe | Celtic |
Scottish Premiership
Wed, 14 Jan 2026, 19:45
Next Match
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v | |
Auchinleck Talbot Beechwood Park Europe |
Celtic |
Scottish Cup
Sun, 18 Jan 2026, 17:30
Beechwood Park
SPFL Table
| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hearts | 22 | 15 | 5 | 2 | 42 | 17 | 25 | 50 |
| 2 | Celtic | 22 | 14 | 2 | 6 | 39 | 21 | 18 | 44 |
| 3 | Rangers | 22 | 12 | 8 | 2 | 34 | 17 | 17 | 44 |
| 4 | Motherwell | 22 | 9 | 10 | 3 | 31 | 17 | 14 | 37 |
| 5 | Hibernian | 22 | 9 | 8 | 5 | 37 | 24 | 13 | 35 |
| 6 | Falkirk | 22 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 23 | 28 | -5 | 30 |
| 7 | Dundee United | 22 | 5 | 10 | 7 | 28 | 34 | -6 | 25 |
| 8 | Aberdeen | 22 | 7 | 4 | 11 | 20 | 28 | -8 | 25 |
| 9 | Dundee | 22 | 6 | 4 | 12 | 19 | 34 | -15 | 22 |
| 10 | St Mirren | 21 | 4 | 6 | 11 | 16 | 30 | -14 | 18 |
| 11 | Kilmarnock | 22 | 2 | 8 | 12 | 20 | 39 | -19 | 14 |
| 12 | Livingston | 21 | 1 | 7 | 13 | 21 | 41 | -20 | 10 |